can’t sleep…. find my self worrying about so many things…. is everything i have going on right now going to succeed? am i going to accomplish my dreams? why do we die? am i going to die an old man or young? its been a few years since this has happened to me…. don’t know if its stress or fear of failure…. i want to do so many things, help so many people but i don’t feel like i have enough time to even accomplish all these goals or even if i am worthy of accomplishing them… guess only time will tell…. i feel like I’m alone.. like no one sees what i see, instead they see a man who is unrealistic or a man that was once successful but no longer that same man…. have i changed that much? id like to think i haven’t… one thing i have learned in life is.. i don’t need any one to believe in me but my self. I am my own motivation. I am all i need… And let me not forget my son, it seems since he was born i feel even more motivated, i want him to be a part of my dreams and goals. i want to succeed for him. just random thoughts.. going to try to sleep… nite.
I often think to myself with so many wealthy people in the world why are people starving? And its simple, people just don’t care… It really isn’t even about religion, its about caring for people. I am a people person, i love people and i get such a good feeling when I give, i just wish i can give more. Theres so many people out there that can change lives.. I was at starbucks today with a buddy, and this was exactly what we were talking about. Can you imagine for one second if every one would give $1.00 a month to help somebody in need, most of us have a dollar in our car as change… But people are so consumed by there own life that others don’t even matter. We spend so much of our time complaining on how bad we have it when theres people out there that don’t even know how they are going to eat tonight. Its sad but a reality. I am hoping that one day i can be part of a huge movement towards change, change for humanity. I personally plan on continuing to give with no expectation of receiving anything in return… I can’t even say that actually, I do receive something in return, an inner happiness that i can’t even find the words to explain.